


Homesick

by Winchestersandmarvel



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Sleep | Remy Sanders are Siblings, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders as Paranoia, Crying, Dark Sides As Family (Sanders Sides), Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Multi, Spider Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), no beta we die like men, probably gonna be a lot of that, remus and Virgil get along well you cannot tell me otherwise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23657365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchestersandmarvel/pseuds/Winchestersandmarvel
Summary: The dark sides think Virgil belongs with them, the light sides think he belongs with them. What if he never really belonged with either. All Virgil really knows is that he wants to be wherever his brother belongs.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Dark Creativity | Remus/Deceit | Janus/Logic | Logan (Sanders Sides)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 264





	1. I missed you

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t really know what this is, it’s just been stuck in my head, so hopefully you guys like it! This is probably really out of character for everyone but I really wanted to get this idea written out.

‘They’re fighting over me’ Virgil thought to himself, ‘this is all my fault.’ He squeezed his eyes shut, covering his ears to block out the sound of the argument going on in front of him in the mind palace. He was sitting on the stairs, his usual spot, even in the imitation of Thomas’s living room, and in front of him Deceit and Remus were fighting with Patton, Logan and Roman over where he belonged. With the light sides or the dark ones.   
It was overwhelming, and even though the hands over his ears muffled the sound it was still too loud, and everyone was moving too much and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe and his hands were now knotted in his hair and tugging sharply. He could feel the way his arms shook and knocked against the side of his head, the way his clothes felt against his body. He could hear his heartbeat and his breathing and he knew that it was too fast, it wasn’t right. ‘I can’t do anything right’ his mind provided ‘I can’t even fucking breathe right, oh my god I‘m so stupid’.   
He was so lost to his own mind he didn’t notice when the yelling ceased and and his name was being called until there were was a gentle hand on his arm for a brief moment and he opened his eyes to see five people crouched in front of him, and he could hear Logan’s voice calling his breathing exercise to him and as he focussed on the tasks he could feel the breath return to his lungs and his heart returning to a slower pace.   
Once he was calm, Patton looked at him, concern furrowing his brows (that made him feel guilty, he didn’t want to be the reason Patton was anything but happy) “you okay there, kiddo?” he asked.   
Virgil took a deep breath and nodded, he felt like absolute shit, he wanted nothing more than to go to sleep, but he couldn’t tell the others that. He couldn’t be responsible for making them feel bad about the way the argument overwhelmed him, or worried over the fact that he couldn’t even control his own body sometimes. “I’m fine Patt” he tried to reassure, cringing when he realized how rough his voice sounded.   
He noticed the way Deceit squinted at him, but Virgil brushed it off as another look of concern when Roman pushed a bottle of water against his knuckles, making him jump before he took it gratefully, taking a small sip of the cool liquid and savoring the way it soothed his raw throat.   
“He’s lying,” Deceit said matter-of-factly. Virgil coughed on the water slightly, turning to Deceit with wide eyes.   
The rest followed suit other than Remus, who kept his eyes trained on Virgil. Virgil attempted to give the duke a small smile, but he thinks from the sympathetic smile that was returned it was a pretty pathetic attempt.   
After a moment of shock Logan looked Virgil in the eyes “Is that correct Virgil?”  
“What? No!” he tried to redeem himself, but the panic was far too evident in his voice.   
Deceit removed a glove to reveal his scale covered hand and snapped his fingers, and Virgil snapped his head around to face him so quickly Roman worried he might get whiplash.   
“Tell us the truth Virgil” the yellow trait commanded as they made eye contact.   
The second the command was made Virgil straightened his back from his hunched position and stared ahead blankly as he spoke “I’m so tired. I just want to sleep,” a tear escaped his eye and Patton gasped and was about to lunge to give the youngest trait a hug, but a hand from both Logan and Roman stopped him. “I just want to sleep but I can’t because my brother isn’t here. I want my brother! I want to go home! I just want to go home” his voice grew more desperate as he spoke, and the trance broke and he curled back in on himself, tears falling more freely as he hid his face in his hands.   
There was a moment of shock from everyone except Remus who leaned forwards slightly from where he was sat on the step below and tapped the crying boy's arm. Virgil looked up at him before he fell heavily into his chest, crying still.   
Remus brought his arms around the other side and rocked him gently as he began to cry harder “I want my brother! I miss him, Re!” he sobbed. In the gentlest and understanding voice the light sides had heard from the chaotic side, Remus pushed his face into Virgil’s hair and said “I know, I know, it isn’t fair that they keep you apart, I know”.   
Realization dawned on Roman’s face as he seemed to realize how much of a toll the split had taken on his twin. Logan however seemed more focussed on what Virgil had said, “Virgil, you have a brother?”   
Virgil nodded his head but pressed his face further into the duke's chest and sobbed harder, and Remus shot the logical trait a near murderous look.   
Patton seemed at a loss for what to do, he hated seeing the youngest trait so sad but he didn’t know what he could do to help cheer him up.   
Deceit watched on with a knowing look on his face and gave a small nod to the other dark side.   
Virgil’s hands had a tight grip on the green sash around the duke and it only tightened as he began to call out “Remy! Remy please!” desperately between the sobs and gasps for air.   
Deceit gave the light sides a look that told them not to ask anymore for the moment, and for a while the room was filled the sound of Virgil’s heavy breaths and sobs as Remus quietly shushed him, rocking the youngest side whilst the others watched on, unable to do anything but watch on.   
This continued for a few more moments until another presence appeared in the room, unaware of the current situation as he called out “Hey-” he stopped when he heard the now quiet sobs and felt the eyes on him.   
Virgil turned to him last, rising from his spot weakly to get to the other as he called out “Remy!” brokenly, but this time there was a hint of relief in his voice.   
“V!” the other replied, quickly moving to get to the other just as his legs gave out under him, catching him and lowering him to the ground in a more controlled manor, tumbler of coffee still in his hands.   
Once they were both successfully on the floor, Virgil grabbed a hold of the others leather jacket hiding his face in the shoulder of the other. Remy’s free hand removed his sunglasses as he looked to the other sides then back to the one that was now crying gently into his shoulder.   
“What happened honey?” He asked setting his coffee down so he could hug the side.   
“Nothing” Virgil sniffled “I just missed you, I missed home.”  
“Oh V” Remy pressed a light kiss to the top of Virgil’s head, “I missed you too V, I’m sorry I can’t stay with you more”  
Virgil finally relaxed and stopped crying, releasing one hand from Remy’s jacket to wipe his face before he looked up at the other to say “‘s not your fault.”  
Remy sighed heavily “you’re too forgiving V” he said, bringing a hand to play with his hair.  
Virgil closed his eyes at the sensation and yawned softly, “I’m tired.”  
Remy smiled at the other and adjusted his hold on the anxious side before lifting him easily and carrying him over to the couch and setting him down, before sitting down behind him. Virgil moves so that his head was resting on the others lap, curled up small enough to only take up one space on the couch. Remy’s hand found the smaller sides hair, combing through it with his fingers.  
“Go to sleep V” he said softly, and he watched his brothers eyes flutter closed for a much needed rest before he looked up to see the five other sides watching him with various expressions.


	2. The story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remy explains his and Virgil's story to the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult chapter to write and I'm still not completely pleased with how it's turned out but I've been working on this since 3 am and its currently 5:30 am and I need to fall asleep before my mum gets up for work.

“How /terrible/ it is to see you here Remy” Deceit greeted.   
Remy smiled at his spectators, taking a sip of his coffee “‘sup” he greeted giving the group a two finger salute, much like his brother often did.   
There was a beat of silence before Roman began to speak up, “will someone please tell us what is going on?!”   
Logan and Patton both voiced their agreement, Logan saying something about needing to have his suspicions confirmed.   
Remy looked down at his brother, who was still sleeping peacefully mumbling about him ‘taking the easy way’ out that the others couldn’t really hear. When he looked back up he put his sunglasses back on “you guys might as well sit down, this is probably gonna take a while to explain.”  
They all did as told without a word. The couch in this area of the mind palace was still a replica of the one in Thomas’s living room, it was actually much larger and allowed for all the present sides to sit down. Logan, Patton and Roman sat to one side of Remy, sitting at an angle so as to better see everyone else. Deceit sat to the other side of sleep, leaving a slight gap for Remus who sat between the pair on the floor, back pressed the couch as he watched the anxious side as he slept.   
Once they were all seated Remy took another sip of his coffee before beginning the story “ I’m gonna start by telling you guys that whilst me and V are siblings we are not twins like Roman and Remus,” he didn’t miss the perplexed look both Logan and Deceit gave him.  
“By that I mean that we weren’t ‘split’ in the way that creativity was. We were formed when Insomnia faded in the subconscious” he gave a beat for that to sink in. They all knew the only way for a side to truly ‘die’ without their host himself dying was to fade into nothing in the subconscious. “When Insomnia faded, I formed to take over the role of controlling Thomas’s sleep cycle, and not long after that V to balance it out.”  
The trio on the one side of the one explaining all looked confused. Logan finally inquired “what do you mean by that?”   
Remy squinted at him from behind his reflective sunglasses before realising “ah, right, you didn’t know Insomnia, he was a dark side. Whilst he obviously controlled Thomas’s sleep, he was also the reason he couldn’t sleep, using Thomas’s anxieties to keep him awake.” he explained, ensuring everyone was keeping track before he continued; “we were both neutral, much like you Logan.”  
“I believe this must have occurred shortly after I left to join the light sides, correct?” he confirmed with the other who nodded his agreement, once again sipping his coffee.   
“Things remained that way for a while, until the others realised that Virgil held more influence than Insomnia had originally. He scared the others because he was inconsistent, he never really had any particularly clear objective other than self preservation.”   
Virgil began to stir on his brother's lap, like he could tell the explanation was happening and where he was going. Without hesitation Remus, seemingly to finally zone back in from the absent way he stared at the sleeping side, reached out to run a hand down the anxious traits arm soothingly until he settled once again.   
Once the boy had soothed Remy continued “Things stayed the same until the first time Virgil had an anxiety attack that directly caused one in Thomas. After seeing what had happened…”   
There was another beat of silence as Remy considered how to phrase the next part.   
Remus picked up the conversation from there, still dazed as he watched the other side sleep, “They kicked him out, he told me all about it” he looked up at Remy then “he told me that you weren't there, that he was scared and that was when he changed.” Remus’s voice was completely void of any emotion, even his typically gleeful tone gone.   
Remy looked down guiltily “No, I wasn’t there when they first kicked him out. I got there just as he changed. There was nothing I could do at that point, he was already branded. He can never go back, the brand stops him from ever being able to come home.”  
Virgil whimpered in his sleep, curling tighter around his brother, clutching his leather jacket so tightly his knuckles turned white, and Remus resumed his gentle motions as Remy continued.   
“That was when he changed to Paranoia” he said, guilt and remorse clear in his voice.   
The statement caused Patton to gasp, eyes soft as he asked “That was Virgil?” He didn’t wait for a reply as guilt poured out his eyes in the form of tears. “My dark, strange son I’m so sorry.”  
“What do you mean, Padre? There’s nothing you could’ve done” Roman attempted to comfort the other, but to no avail, and so he resorted to simply hugging the other.   
“I believe that Patton is referring to the fact that Paranoia takes the form of an arachnid, which I recall several occasions on which Patton has expressed his distaste for the species with Virgil present.” Logan provided. If the increase in the volume of the sobs were anything to go by, Logan was correct.   
“You /should/ feel guilty, Patton” Deceit spoke up, for the first time in a while, making the light sides jump at the near forgotten presence. It took a moment for the real sentiment of the statement to sink in but when it did the crying ceased and Patton gave the dark side a smile.   
Once everyone was settled yet again Remy finally completed the story “ Paranoia joined the dark sides and slowly reverted back to Anxiety. You know the rest of the story, probably better than I do” he concluded.   
There were a few moments of stunned silence before Virgil began to whimper once again, however this time Remus was unable to soothe him back to a peaceful rest.   
Remy also attempted to calm his brother and send him deeper to sleep but his efforts proved futile as the anxious side awoke with a jolt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter, now that explanations are out of the way i can progress the story more.   
> Please leave a Kudos and a Comment if you liked this chapter <3   
> Have a great day, I'm gonna go sleep now as its 5:30 am and I have not slept yet.


	3. Paranoia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paranoia makes his first appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now its getting ~JUICY~ in the words of our beloved Remus. In this chapter paranoia gets a little fun, and causes a fair bit of damage. I hope you all like this chapter!

When Virgil awoke he shot up quickly, and fisted his hands in his hair. His breathing was slightly ragged as he spoke “Stop talking about ‘Noia, it makes him nervous.”  
Remy winced, “Sorry V, do you want to go back to sleep?”  
Virgil shook his head, “Can’t, he says it’s dangerous.” Virgil still had his hands in his hair, but not quite as tightly, and his breathing evened out slightly.   
“Why is it dangerous, Kiddo?” Patton asked, concerned. Logan looked as if he were going to add something himself but decided against it.   
Virgil shook his head again, now covering his face with his hands. He didn’t speak this time.   
“Kiddo? Virgil? Are you okay?” Patton called out to him when he didn’t reply.   
Once again there was no reply, and Remy and Remus shared a look that wasn’t missed by the others.   
“What was that look about?” Roman asked, and Remus’s eyes snapped to him.  
“It’s not gonna be Virgil we’re talking to soon, my darling brother” the creative side replied with a slightly manic smile spreading across his face “‘Noia is coming!” he exclaimed, standing to jump about whilst he clapped happily.   
Whilst the dark side was clapping a sharp crack could be heard and Virgil cried out. Both Patton and Deceit went to reach out to the youngest side but Remy stopped them “Don’t.” he stood and picked up his coffee, backing up a little to stand near where Remus was bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet, waving his hands side to side.   
“The best thing you can do for him right now is give him space” Remy continued, and the other four followed to stand away from the anxious side, who still gave out pained cries.   
Soon his back shifted and movement could be seen underneath his hoodie. This didn't last long as long spidery legs erupted from the back of his hoodie, covered in fur and striped with purple and black.   
Patton almost screamed at the sight, but Deceit forced him to cover his mouth with his hand, and Patton shot him an almost grateful look. Their eyes snapped back to the scene in front of them as Virgil removed his hands from his face and it was clear it was no longer Virgil.   
His face became even more pale, and the dark underneath his eyes had spread to cover half of his face in an inky black. Three pairs of stark white eyes stood out on the dismal background and stared blankly at the others who stared at him, unable to look away even if they wanted to.   
Remus clapped his hands again and Paranoia faced him directly, hands, which now looked like they had been dipped in the same ink that covered his face, coming up to cover his ears. His additional legs planted on the ground, slightly bent as if they were ready to bolt at any given moment.   
“‘Noia!” Remus exclaimed loudly.  
Paranoia winced but gave a small smirk “Remus.” he greeted in return. “We need to go, it’s not safe here” he said. Paranoia’s voice was layered and echoed throughout the room despite the quiet tone.  
“What do you mean ‘Noia, what could possibly be more dangerous here than me?” he questioned, stepping closer to the other side. He was the closest of them all to begin with so when he stood forwards he was practically next to him. Paranoia’s tensed legs told him that was as close as he was getting.   
Paranoia pointed to the rest of the group with one of his blackened hands “Them.”  
Remus cocked his head “Frankly, I’m offended” he commented.   
Paranoia laughed, and it rang out eerily across the room, “They’ve all hurt Virgil in the past, and they could do it again. I will protect him from their actions” he said, like it was obvious.   
“What do you mean, we’ve all hurt Virgil?” Logan questioned “We may not have been the most accepting when he first joined us, but we have put considerable effort into apologising for our previous actions.”   
“Hmmm, is that so? I seem to remember being rejected when we first got kicked out of home. I seem to remember several moments where your offhand comments have hurt us. Virgil remembers a lot of those, you guys seem to actively work against him a lot, to the point where he tried to duck out if I remember correctly.” Paranoia taunted. “In fact, I don’t see any reason to believe you wont hurt him again.”  
Logan searched for a reply, as Patton gasped and his eyes filled with tears. Roman attempted to comfort the fatherly side with a side hug as he stared at the arachnid-like side next to his brother.   
To Roman’s shock, Remus attempted to defend them “Come now, you know better than to let a couple little insults get to you ‘Noia”  
Paranoia seemed to zone out at the comment for a moment before shaking their head vigorously “Shut up!” he shouted, but it wasn’t directed at Remus, more at himself.   
Once he calmed again, he pointed to Deceit “He also cannot be trusted. He is unpredictable in his lies.”   
Remus interjected once again “I’m unpredictable” he said, stepping in front of Deceit almost protectively. “I know you’re still mad for when Virgil left but he had every right to feel the way he did.”  
Deceit didn’t even attempt to say anything, despite the hurt flashing across his eyes.   
Paranoia tutted “I’m questioning who you’re protecting now Remus.”  
“I’m protecting Virgil from the damage you’re going to cause if you carry on” Remus said defensively “ and if you say anything more you will be hurting him.”  
Paranoia tilted his head in confusion and for a moment it seemed as if he was listening to something. “... I’m … hurting him?”   
“Indeed, by destroying his rela-” Logan began to speak but soon the duke was in his face with a crazed look in his eyes.   
“If you don't shut up right now i'm going to scoop out your eyes with an ice cream scoop and feed them back to you” he threatened in a gleeful tone.   
In his peripheral vision Logan could see Paranoia glaring at him. He seemed to notice when Logan saw him and instead turned to stare at Remy intensely. Before Remus could return to the other, Paranoia began to target his brother.   
“You’re the worst of them all,” he sang out, and Remy looked to his feet, uncharacteristically quiet “you weren’t there when we needed you. You never have been! You are the reason I exist!”   
Remus was about to interject when the arachnid continued “You weren’t there! You betrayed us! You are the wor-”   
Paranoia stopped. He began to shake his head violently and another voice called out from the same voice, so clearly different is the desperate tone without the eerie projection Paranoia’s possessed “That is enough!”  
The blackened hands came back up to grasp at his head again and no one else dared move or make a sound whilst the arachnid swayed slightly.  
“You’re hurting them! You’re hurting /me/!” Virgil’s desperate tone called out to himself.   
“I-I am?” Paranoia’s voice called out again, although it seemed more distant  
Slowly the extra limbs retracted and the black faded from his face and arms. The extra eyes sealed again and Virgil’s own recovered.   
Everyone seemed relieved until they saw the tear tracks down Virgil’s own face, apparent due to the eye-shadow that usually stayed contained to underneath his eyes.   
“I’m sorry” he said, and then he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I wasn't sure how to write paranoia at first but I think I got a good idea for what sort of character I'm going to make him in this chapter!  
> Please leave a comment and/or a kudos if you enjoyed this chapter as they encourage me to write and comments are my only source of serotonin right now <3
> 
> p.s. if anyone knows how to get italics to stay when I add the document to here please let me know how ;-;, i know the / are ugly


	4. Panic attacks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil needs calming down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy I finally got the new chapter done! I hope you guys like it

There was a beat of silence, all of the sides trying to comprehend what just happened.   
Remy was the first to speak, “We need to find him, who knows how he is right now.” he fretted.   
Patton stopped crying and nodded, “We can’t let him think we blame him for this.” He held his gaze with Roman for a second, as if daring him to challenge him.   
They all agreed, and looked at each other, looking for both comfort and some form of a plan.   
“He’s probably /not/ in his room” Deceit began, and Remus nodded.   
Remy looked at him “Do you two still use-” he began to ask, but he never got the chance as Remus snapped his fingers and a screen hovered in front of him.   
It looked like an ornate picture frame, twisting silver intertwined with what seemed to be small grey storm clouds. In the centre was a transparent display.   
The display showed Virgil’s room. All of their eyes were immediately drawn to the figure by the wall. They sat with their back to the wall, one leg bent up to their chest and the other stretched out in front of them. They curled in on themselves, back exposed, and hands fisted in their hair. The display apparently also gave out sound as heavy breaths and repetitive mumbling of ‘I’m sorry’ and the occasional shout of ‘Shut up!’ permeated throughout the room.   
“V?” Remus asked softly.   
Virgil flinched violently before looking up at where the ‘camera’ was placed. He gasped and seemed to lose focus, getting thrown back into the depths of the anxiety attack. He began to hit his head with the heel of his palm, harsh thumps ringing out dull-ly as he repeated the action.   
Patton gasped, hiding his face in his hands as tears began to well up in his eyes again. Roman looked taken aback and Logan seemed at a loss as for what to do. None of them had seen Virgil have such an intense attack before.   
Deceit chewed at his lip, looking torn about what to do before nodding to Remus “You /shouldn’t/ go.”  
Remy nodded agreement, not taking his eyes off his brother on the screen “Bring him back here for us, when he’s calm. He trusts you the most honey.”  
The duke sunk out, and soon he could be seen on the screen, a few meters in front of Virgil, right in his line of vision. He crouched and held his hands out non threateningly and Virgil seemed to register his presence.   
“Hey V,” he had a small reassuring smile as the thumping of his hands against his head slowed “that’s it, good job. Keep focussed on me, okay Virge?”  
He gave a shaky nod, eyes keeping locked on the other. His breath still shuddered but his hands now instead trembled out in front of him rather than adding to the already red and tender spots on each side of his head. Chances are they were going to leave nasty bruises behind.  
“That’s it, well done Virge. Can I come closer?” Remus asked, not forcing the other to make eye contact as he studied the anxious sides state.   
Virgil nodded, and Remus slowly inched forwards until he was almost directly next to the other, in line with his outstretched leg, leaving a gap that meant Virgil wouldn’t feel trapped.   
“Can I touch you?” he asked. Virgil’s reaction this time was less positive, eyes screwing shut tightly, hands fisting in his hair as he rolled his head, ear touching his shoulder like he was trying to block out a sound.   
Remus backed up a little before talking again, trying to regain the others attention “Hey, hey, hey.” he cooed, and Virgil leaned back towards him slightly, listening to him “It’s alright, I won’t touch.” he reassured the other.   
“Can you move your hands?” he said, looking at the tight way it was knotted around his fingers, knuckles white from the pressure.   
The youngest side shook his head in reply, eyes closing impossibly tighter and his fingers became even more entrapped in the purple locks.   
“That’s okay” the duke reassured as Virgil took another desperate gasp for air. “Can you breathe with me V? In for four…” he demonstrated the breath himself loudly, and when Virgil gave a shaky attempt himself, he tapped his finger against the floor four times, audibly counting out the seconds whilst maintaining his own example of the technique.   
“Hold it for seven, that’s really good Virge, well done” he instructed once again tapping out the seconds on the floor. The trembling of Virgil's hands reduced greatly and he began to tap along with Remus, directly onto his head.   
“And out for eight. You’re doing so well Virge, keep it up. Let’s do it again.”  
They repeated that process for a while, until Virgil's breath was regular and his hands were no longer white with how hard he was clutching at his hair. He peeked his eyes open for a moment, looking at Remus for a second before screwing them shut again.   
“Hey, there you are, can I see those pretty eyes again?” he asked. Virgil's lips quirked upwards but he still shook his head, no.   
Remus giggled “That's probably for the best. Have I told you before that I really want to scoop out your eyes and keep them in a jar, ‘cause I do.” he rambled.   
Virgil seemed to relax at the comment, and his hands fell from his hair to rest in his legs. He pressed his face into his knee, and his small smile was more visible to the other from this position.   
Remus continued to ramble on about the morbid topics in his head, keeping them relatively tame for the anxious side's sake, but keeping them as normal as possible, knowing that the other hated being tiptoed around unless he had explicitly stated that he wasn’t up to that sort of conversation.   
Eventually Virgil's eyes slowly fluttered open ab=nd he turned to watch the other as he talked, making relatively slow motions with his hands that Virgil could follow and map out.   
Eventually a shaky hand crept towards the other and Remus let his one hand be fiddled with by the other, letting him manipulate his fingers gently.   
\----------  
The screen vanished as Remus approached the anxious side and the remaining five shared a look.  
“I propose we come up with a plan to best approach this situation when the duke returns with Virgil.” Logan suggested.   
The rest agreed, and they began to develop the best plan of action.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of me making this shippy? I’m thinking dukexiety as it makes the most sense but I’m willing to add others to the relationship such as deceit or Logan or both if you guys would like that? The only ones I will not add are Roman and Remy as that’s incest and I am not gonna fuck with that.  
> Anyway please leave a comment with your thoughts, and please leave a kudos and a comment if you liked this fic <3


	5. Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil returns to the commons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so sorry for how long this took, I really struggled working out how to include the last video, but I think this works pretty well! I might go back and edit the last chapters to fit Janus's character a bit better but I also might not, I don't know. If I do go back they won't be major edits so don't worry about that as such. Anyway thank you so much for your encouragement and patience, enjoy this chapter!<3

“I think that me and Remy should be the first to approach” Deceit said bluntly as he removed his glove, showing the others he was being honest.  
“What! No! Why would we let a fiend such as yourse-” Roman began to ramble off, looking outraged at even entertaining the idea.  
“For goodness sake, Roman! I am doing this for Virgil! Not you, not me, but for him, so I would appreciate it if you could pull your head out of your ass long enough to see that!” Janus retaliated. It was clear he had enough with Roman’s obvious distaste with him.

Roman was stunned at the outburst. Yes ,the pair were a little hostile with each other but Janus had never actually snapped at him. No, he was always careful with his words, thought out and with a level voice.

Remy put a hand on each of their shoulders, standing between the pair. “Me and Jan are gonna talk to him first. We know how to deal with Virgil after ‘Noia fronts. You guys could maybe make him some food, make a blanket fort in here or something, okay girl? It would really help.” he spoke to Roman, although at the last part he glanced past him to Patton who nodded.

Patton helped guide Roman away from the tense situation and into the kitchen, rambling to him about the types of cookies they could make to help make Virgil feel better. 

Logan looked at the pair still in the living room with furrowed eyebrows “You are sure that you will be able to handle this by yourselves for now?” he questioned. It was obvious he wasn't trying to patronise them, that he was merely concerned for the others.

They both nodded before Janus replied “Quite. We’ve done this before” he reassured.

Logan considered the statement for a moment before nodding and heading to joint Patton and Roman in the kitchen. 

Remy sighed as the last of the light sides left, pinching the bridge of his nose, “This is either going to be the best way we’ve ever helped Virgil after ‘Noia fronted, or it’s going to be the worst.” he stated heavily. 

Janus hummed an agreement,as Remy mentally prepared himself to deal with the fragile state his brother was no doubt going to be in. 

~~Virgil’s Room~~

After a few minutes of peaceful silence Remus spoke up again.

“You know we’re gonna have to go and talk to the others about this soon” he said quietly, staring at where Virgil’s hand was manipulating his own.  
The movement stopped for a second, before resuming a little shakily as Virgil replied.  
“I know” he sighed, “I just- I wish that the others hadn’t found out this way. They probably hate me now, they’ll probably kick me out and-” he was cut off as Remus lifted both their hands and licked the back of the others.  
They made eye contact for a moment before Virgil began to laugh. “That’s so gross! Why the fuck would you do that?!”  
Remus shrugged “You were spiralling. Anyone with eyes can see that they would die for you, and you have eight so I don’t know how you’re missing that.”  
Virgil considers the statement for a moment, “You really think so?” he asks the other quietly. He sounds bewildered at the idea that anyone would care for him like that.  
“I do, but should any unfortunate events arise you know me and J would kill for you, no hesitation” 

Virgil smiles at this before moving forwards to hug the creative side. Remus’s eyes wrap tightly around him and finally, /finally/ he feels safe. Here, safe in his room with Remus, one of the people he trusts the most with his blunt honesty and oddly positive attitude, Paranoia’s screaming in the back of his head quietened and he was at peace. 

They stay like that for a little while, until the awkward position forces them apart.  
Remus smiles at him, “you ready to go back?” he asks.

Virgil chewed his lip anxiously before dragging the other up so they were both standing before he closed his eyes taking a deep breath and nodding. At that the pair sank out of the room. 

When they returned to the living room they were a little startled to find an elaborate pillow fort in front of the couch, the entrance facing the tv. They were also surprised to find only Janus and Remus in the room. 

Virgil immediately thought the worst but Janus just looked at him with a reassuring smile “They’re in the kitchen, making something for you to eat.”  
Virgil relaxed at the statement as the snake and his brother approached the pair.  
Remy smiled at him, “We thought it’d be better if we didn’t bombard you with people, but it’s your call babes”  
Virgil gave a small smile, “Thanks guys” he said quietly. He looked down and his face fell “I’m sorry about what I said” His voice broke and then tears dripped from his face to the floor. 

The three around him were quick to approach and wrap him in a hug. 

“It wasn’t you, Babes, you don’t need to apologise”  
“But-” Virgil cut himself off as his breathing picked up and he screwed his eyes shut. He flailed to free his arms, and the three backed off.  
Virgil covered his ears and crouched down on the floor, tears still leaking from his tightly closed eyes. “Shut up!” He yelled at nothing, “You’re wrong!”

The three looked at each other, breath catching in their throats before they all nodded and Remus sat in front of the anxious side, legs crossed.

“Hey Virge” he called, no worry in his tone although it was evident in his face, “Did you know that the human head weighs about the same as a bowling ball?” he continued when the others eyes opened to flick up at him before continuing “even though that’s not that heavy, you should always use two hands to carry a severed head, because the weight isn’t distributed evenly like in a bowling ball.” the green side rambled.

Virgil’s hands fell from his ears, listening intently to the other as he rambled about gruesome facts. Eventually Janus sat down too, next to Remus, occasionally chiming in with some facts of his own. 

Remy would’ve sat with the others too if his phone hadn’t buzzed in his back pocket, his eyes scanned the message and he frowned, quickly typing out a reply before replacing his phone in his pocket. By the time he looked back up Virgil had his eyes open again, staring at the others legs as they spoke, wiping his eyes with his sleeves as his breath returned to him. 

“Janus?” Virgil softly asked, and he almost didn’t hear him over Remus’s loud voice.  
Remy lightly kicked the back of Remus to get his attention as Janus spoke to Virgil. Remus stood to whisper with Remy, but Virgil didn’t seem to notice.  
“Hug?” the anxious side said, chewing his lip as his eyes flickered up at Janus and back at the floor, watching for the others' reaction.  
Janus just gave a small smile, “Of course /not/” he replied, spreading the arms for the other who crawled forwards to practically sit in the others lap as three sets of arms wrapped around him, gentle enough that he could push away if needed but firm enough that they were grounding.

Virgil buried his head in the crook of the others neck and whispered “Safe” before fully relaxing. With Remy’s presence in the room he finally fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this format a little easier to read? Paragraphing on my laptop doesn't always work with the layout on here so I never know if it leaves a big enough gap to be easy to read. Anyway thank you so much for reading, please leave a kudos and a comment if you liked it <3

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this! Please leave a comment if you did and I’ll continue the story 💚💚 have a great day everyone!


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